As a therapist, I have encountered a prevailing theme among those presenting with anxiety, depression, and overwhelming stress. A profound sense of life spinning beyond one’s influence—a belief that their actions hold little sway over life’s unfolding events. An external locus of control contributes to a passive mindset, where individuals struggle to perceive the potency of small, intentional actions. As a consequence, they find themselves adrift, unable to fully engage in meaningful relationships or articulate their personal principles. In essence, they are stuck in a loading zone, trapped in a state of inertia.
This prevailing state of being is not the fault of the individual, but rather a reflection of larger societal pressures at play. The relentlessness of social expectations, fuelled by the constant comparison through meticulously curated updates, stringent standards, and societal unease with vulnerability and discomfort, all contribute to this state. This state is further amplified by the superficial nature of hyperconnectedness and accessibility to unlimited choices and entertainment. The result? Individuals who feel passive, focused on consumerism, and who are perpetually fatigued.
Consider a scenario such as receiving news of a cousin’s cancer diagnosis. Initially, feeling hopeless and immobilised is a natural response. However, this need not persist. By focusing on what lies within our sphere of influence—offering affection or regular communication—one can reclaim a sense of agency. This approach fosters a sense of stability and grounding, emphasising that even in the state of uncontrollable outcomes, we can still steer our own vessel.
Of course, certain outcomes remain beyond our influence, yet even in such situations, daily decisions and choices cultivate a profound sense of agency. Reclaim personal efficacy by engaging in activities that involve creation and action rather than consumption. Write in a journal to explore emotions, engage in a DIY project, or learn new words in a different language. Actively participating in such activities fosters a sense of empowerment, which builds resilience and identity. The practice is about bringing into consciousness opportunities for daily choices. Making small decisions irrespective of eventual outcomes, yet with the intention to gain a sense of momentum in the present moment. Consider experimenting with your playlist, reaching out to long-forgotten friends, or going to a different part of town over the weekend. This, of course, requires courage, and perhaps a willingness to step outside societal norms. Yet, the freedom and contentment attained through a bit of self-efficacy should never be underestimated.
Katerina Nemcova
Clinical Psychologist
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