August Newsletter

Dear Clients,

I have been reflecting lately on how grief can paradoxically awaken us to life. In both individual therapy and couples work, I see how loss, whether expressed or suppressed, shapes the course of a life. The thought came after a client, in the midst of their grief, described themselves as feeling "dead inside." It was such a raw and honest phrase and one that stayed with me.

I realised that so much of my work around depression and anxiety actually turns on this question of aliveness, or the absence of it. The clients who seem most stuck are not always those in acute crisis. More often, they are the ones who look fine from the outside: they show up to work, keep their relationships going, do what's expected, fulfil their roles, but feel strangely absent from their own lives.

This same client, who has kindly allowed me to share their story, had experienced the devastating loss of a close friend. Our work in those early weeks was not about big insights but simply about finding ground again and taking small steps towards stability. Over time, as we stayed with the grief, this person began a daily swimming practice. The water is cold, sometimes bracing, but also enlivening. In that discomfort, they feel both the ache of loss and completely invigorated. They have learnt not to numb pain and that the pain itself gives them a sense of vitality. There is a clarity and simplicity in all of this that they consider profound and beautiful and it has somehow become a mirror for everything else in their life.

This is what it means to rediscover vitality after heartbreak. It looks different for everyone. Sometimes it shows up in grand gestures: a journey, a career change, a separation. More often, it is found in quiet rituals that tether us back to life. A walk at dusk, a conversation that feels unguarded and real, a moment of laughter that loosens something inside, the courage to create or to play. I've been surprised by how profound a simple bike ride through the countryside can feel.

So often we live according to schedules that feel imposed rather than chosen. We rush between obligations, attention scattered across endless tasks, responding to demands that aren't actually urgent. The more natural rhythms like rest when tired, movement when restless, paying attention to what's actually happening around us feel almost revolutionary.

September appointments are filling quickly, and for those interested in exploring these themes more deeply, I continue to offer both regular and intensive sessions.

Warmly,

Katerina Nemcova

Clinical Psychologist

P.S. In keeping with this theme, I’m putting together an art therapy group that will use creativity as a bridge back to vitality. More details soon. In the meantime, The Tao of Fully Feeling is a beautiful exploration of emotional aliveness.