Dear Clients,
In the quiet aftermath of the holiday season, I have been reflecting on the nature of pleasure and satisfaction in our lives. In my sessions and my own life, I have been observing how easy it is to pursue fleeting pleasures while overlooking the deeper, sustainable forms of satisfaction that contribute to a fulfilling life.
Our relationship with pleasure often mirrors a broader cultural pattern. Many of us have fallen into a 'hedonic treadmill' - a cycle of passive consumption where we perpetually seek the next dopamine hit through scrolling, streaming, or just endless devouring of whatever is easy and available. If you find yourself on this treadmill, you are likely to feel constantly depleted, and in search of unattainable satisfaction.
Therefore, it may seem counterintuitive to suggest increasing your attention to pleasure. We are made to feel that dedicating time to pleasure is self-indulgent or unproductive, and most advice is focused on a diet of extreme productivity instead. Yet as Audre Lorde said, caring for ourselves is not self-indulgence but self-preservation - a form of political resistance in a world that often devalues our wellbeing. The truth is that authentic pleasure requires active cultivation; it will not simply arrive with an easy click or package at your doorstep. Actually, most meaningful sources of pleasure are freely available: the warmth of sunlight, the perfect crunch of an apple, the texture of grass underfoot. These experiences only require our attention, and notably, no corporation stands to profit from our engagement with them. Yet I am aware that this is easier said than done.
One of my own sources of pleasure these past few weeks has been reading Lightman's book "The Miraculous from the Material." He outlines the material world of physics in delightful and beautiful language. For example, he describes our atmosphere as a miraculous blanket that cradles our planet at precisely the right temperature for life to flourish. The same physics that makes our sky blue also allows us to experience the soft glow of twilight and the gradual awakening of dawn. It is easy to miss these simple marvels that we can delight in when we pay attention.
This brings me to what I have been thinking of as intentional pleasure – an alternative to the often commercialised concept of self-care. Cultivating pleasure and satisfaction in small simple ways that value slowness, connection and self-autonomy. This may look like choosing to spend an evening with a home-cooked meal, stargazing with friends and talking about your newfound fascination with volcanoes. It is difficult to give this guidance without sounding overly simplistic or patronising. Yet try to find beauty in your daily life, marvel at the design and engineering of a modern bicycle or all of the conveniences we are able to enjoy that our ancestors could not. The deepest pleasure, as Brown describes, comes from riding the line between commitment and detachment - fully engaging with the process while releasing our attachment to specific outcomes. So before any cynical dismissiveness creeps in the way, give it a go.
"What feels good is sustainable. When my body feels good, my life feels good, and I want to keep going, and fight for my right to exist and love and grow and evolved (adrienne marie brown.)”
This month, I continue to offer both regular and intensive sessions. Please note that appointment times have been filling quickly, so I encourage you to book in advance if you would like to secure a specific time slot. I will be returning to the office from the 3rd of March.
Warmly,
Katerina Nemcova
Clinical Psychologist
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